My world - as I see it

Desgarsthing

2009-06-18T13:21:00.000+08:00

Disgust. That is what I think.
Disgust. The word to describe it all.
Disgust. What I feel when I internalise.
Disgust. When I see myself through your eyes.
Disgust. Where I realise I am going.
Disgust. How much of this can I feel just by thinking?
Disgust. Why did I make you sad?

dirty sanchez

2009-05-07T10:06:00.002+08:00

Fingers stretch out,
Entwined they become,
Lips form a pout,
Kisses there are some;
Arms over shoulders,
Drifting to lower,
Over the neck line hovers,
Ploughing lightly as a mower;
Hands between,
Somewhat searching,
Not to be seen,
Thoughts are roving.

sigh.

auctioned

2009-05-05T09:54:00.002+08:00

Sold. To the highest bidder.
Are these sales always the best?
Brought. To somewhere here, come hither.
Does it always have to be of this mess?

Analytical skill (less)

2009-05-05T09:54:00.001+08:00

You. I miss you so.
Me. You miss me too.
Point. We are here now.
And yet, we miss each other.
Pity. This is so missing the point.

spoilt ingredient

2009-05-05T09:53:00.000+08:00

Put the heat on, and let the water bubble,
Add in spices for the flavour,
Throw the meat in, make that double,
Complete the dish and hope you can savour;
Savour the chemistry that is all that it is,
Remember the innocence of the birds and the bees;
But hark, in comes confusion,
And all is for naught,
For in the wake of this intrusion,
All words become caught.

shakespere I quote

2009-04-20T17:06:00.000+08:00

I guess...

I don’t have anything that needs explaining, but yet again, perhaps I do...

I am unsure if I really like anyone, because my feelings are alien to me. On one hand I can be happy being with a girl, but yet I am not compelled to meet up with her. It is as if I am too comfortable where I am now, and where I have been, so much so that I don’t see a need to advance. Perhaps, too, because I have never went further than this stage, for various reasons no doubt. One of these reasons, is that I am lazy, and easily tired. Most likely, I find that the girl is not receptive fast enough, and I just simply give up. Jaded, perhaps? I no longer order flowers, don’t spring surprise gifts, lost all inkling of romance (this assuming of course that I have had those in the first place), don’t purposely go out for dates... things that I used to think I would do for the girl I loved, but if I said that, then perhaps I have only loved one girl for certain.. wait, can I even be certain? I... am too serious, and I think too much. Someone told me before that nobody could love me, simply because I did not allow myself to be, by being guarded on one hand, and also being silent, uninteresting, and so unenergetically unappealing... talk about being a young ‘un ha!

I can’t find it within myself to continue to say that I am in love with anyone, because that would be giving people the wrong idea. I cannot find within myself the energy to accommodate, to adapt, to change myself to whom I think people would rather I be. I am who I am. Selfishly thinking, if you can’t handle that, then so be it, because who wouldn’t want others to love them as they are? Even when certain aspects are worth changing, but to what extent can and should we change ourselves just so as to fit who others want us to be? Would we still be able to call ourselves ‘me’ then? I understand that people change to suit others willingly at times, because we want the other to be happy, even if that might result in us not being too happy, but at the end of the day, it is worth it. Or so we thought. If we lose ourselves in the hope of change, then is change necessarily a good thing? I think not.

When whatever I do requires explaining, then should I continue doing it the way I am? Or should I explain? Or should I just ignore and do it anyway? I would rather do it my way, as long as it works, and it hurts nobody. If it hurts me in the process, so be it. Limbo, limbo, the word best used to describe my current state of mind. Confusion won’t even come close. You don’t wish to commit? Neither do I... only difference is, I’ve never seen what is on the other side. And more often than not, the girl would have seen the other side. I mean, how many can proudly proclaim they have never been in a relationship, never been kissed, never held hands...? Few and far in between I’m sure.

Double double, toil and trouble, cauldron boil and fire bubble...
By the pricking of my thumb, something wicked this way come...
Fair is foul and foul is fair, hover through the fog and filthy air...

These three lines sound so foreign and so dark, but what if I said it describes aptly how it seems to be to me at this point my thoughts and feelings... in terms of the curious undertones and foreboding context it invokes within me, the same as when I talk about relationships. I am really, too serious for my own good.

mixed inuendo

2009-04-19T17:44:00.003+08:00

turn me round and round indeed,
drop the water on the dormant seed,
spinning thoughts after not the deed,
denying and defying listed ones in the creed,
is this akin to being blinded by greed?

so then, many others are in tow,
and you are tired, confused, irritated.
you want the fun, the naughty, the non-serious
we chit we chat, we do this and that,
and yet even now... no?

Change is for the better, one might say,
to others, it might be, not worth it
think think think.
if 1 is changed, and becomes 2, then 2 is not 1 and 1 is not 2, then would u still be u?
if 1 wants to be liked as 1, then changing to 2 just to be liked would not be 1 or 2.

rain rain don't go away

2009-03-11T13:59:00.000+08:00

Clouds, grey and looming,
Sun rays try a-peeking;
Wind brings a chill,
Imminent rain suits the bill;
Droplets fall from the heavens,
Men seek shelter in taverns;
Drink away the gloomy weather,
Always hoping for the better.

But, we miss the point.

Rain brings life.
We are of the living,
We should welcome rain,
Glorious, life-giving rain.
Woe to he who does not realise,
What he has been blessed with.
Looming clouds prevent the sun from scorching,
Chill winds cool us down,
Rain washes away the dirt and stains,
And what can be more the opposite of gloom,
Than sunshine after the rain?

now and then, not just a friend

2009-03-08T22:16:00.002+08:00

Life is like a coin...
heads or tails,
however it lands,
it is still God who flips it.

Also too is love like a coin,
many things are up to chance,
and we are faced with different opportunities,
but in the end,
are we daring enough to flip that coin?

Many happenings for now,
to what end, I don't know how.
What exactly to think of it,
jigsaw puzzle pieces trying to fit.
playing around with matters of the heart,
two unknowing performers playing the part.
will you honour me this dance,
you who put me in this trance?
it takes two hands to clap,
trust me honey, this is no trap;
so please let me clasp your hand,
course I wish to be more than just your friend.

be gone minus

2009-02-03T09:16:00.001+08:00

What would you do, when you despair,
when things don't go your way,
when you won't know how you'd fare,
when the future looks so gray...

I can't see past my nose,
and I don't know what I want,
acting out as if striking a pose,
when I'm as useless as a plant...

What am I saying, I know not,
aimlessly living my dreary existence,
I only know that I feel distraught,
sigh negativity keep your distance.

2009-01-08T12:55:00.001+08:00

The way life works.
I understand not.
The way days pass.
I fret not.
The way things go.
I think not.
The Way of His.
I worry not.

2009-01-05T17:23:00.001+08:00

Live each day like you love it,
love each person like mean it,
mean every word you speak,
and speak of every dream you live.

For every tomorrow can be the dream of yesterday,
every word the representation of that dream,
every person the important one you love,
and every love a gift from God today.

Peace.

2008-12-31T09:27:00.002+08:00

As the day starts,
as the last day of this year,
I am forced to remember,
the 2nd last day, and the 3rd last day and this goes on forever.
Each day, I can recount the times I did not exercise self restraint,
Each time I feel remorse, and yet.
Each time the next time forever time.
Never will it be, or will it?
*pinch**slap**punch**kick*
Someone wake me up from this.
2009.. what more would it bring?

recollections

2008-12-29T13:49:00.000+08:00

My goodness, it has been a good half year since I last posted anything. I doubt if anyone else reads this space, but I’ll write here anyway. Just as well, since it’ll be a good time for me to take some time off to recollect the year thus far.
The year started off well, after counting down to a new year in New York, travelling to Niagara Falls, spending a week in Tokyo... coming back to Singapore, I wasn’t really ready to put down my travelling shoes. I’m still not ready actually, but I don’t have a choice. Anyhow, I left for Bangkok to take a look at my restaurants there, and thankfully they look great, and the food tastes great. So yes, I was back to reality by then, by consequence and not by choice. Back to the hum drum of school life, back to the packed days of too many things that one cannot remember once that day passes.

After school ended, things were at a standstill once more. The only difference was, I managed to secure a job, and I still feel really blessed for it. During the school term I was like any other of my peers, seeking jobs in nooks and crannies, mindful that there was something ominous looming behind us. True enough, markets have come crashing around us in the past 3 months or so. So then, another chapter in my life had started, one which I have an even lesser control of. 7 months have since passed, and despite some hiccups and surging negative emotions whilst working, I’m still happily working in the office. One cannot ask for more, especially given the current situation of the world.

Ha, that was really a brief run through my 2008 eh? My life seems really boring at this point, wouldn’t it? What about spirituality? I went to Sydney for the World Youth Day 08, which was supposed to be a peak, but because I did not make much effort to prepare myself properly, I ended up having a good experience, but not the best that I could have had. Sadly, till now, I still don’t make much effort to prepare myself spiritually... going for the seminary’s recollection did not help me recollect much apart from my obvious sloth and sin. Even waking up that random day with the thoughts of giving up when I was so down, and suddenly being instilled with the thought of entering religious life; that fervour was soon lost, and back I was into being steeped in sin. Not much of an advancement I guess? Was made to be more active in church once again by re-joining RCIA, and by joining some youth activities, in camps and other stuff. In my opinion, and I’m sure the same goes for others, I wasn’t much of a leader, or a good example to the youth. Time was not well planned, delegations not proper, and examples not made. In the end, I only managed to disappoint others, those who had originally thought better of me. How sad...

And this brings to bear the next thing on my list. What life would be without its fair share of love, and love lost? For me, it was a crazy roller coaster of misplaced and misunderstood emotions. Going for one, jumping to another, and then another, back again, and then one more? What a joke. Having to explain my actions to someone was like a slap in my face to tell me that I am nothing more than the idiots I used to criticise. Like a dog chasing its tail, I was chasing after things of little consequence. I lost myself in a bid to find someone else.. how ironic that turned out to be. In the end, I lost not only myself, but almost a friend as well. I lost myself to the worldly desires of men, and the temptation of sin. Ashamed as I am, I cannot turn back the clock, and there is no righting the wrong. I can only bury these deeds that should never come to light, seek forgiveness in Him and pray that such things would never re-surface and never acted upon again.

So as I look back at this year, in reality, many things have come to play. A change in lifestyle? Maybe. A different perspective to life? Probably. A desire for change? Definitely. It will be a tough year ahead. I can only pray for more strength. Already my perseverance wanes, my resolve wavering. Divine help is what I seek, for the stench of sin is what I reek, strength to resist, temptation to desist. Cheers to a NEW 2009.

In Your Name

2008-11-28T09:26:00.000+08:00

Running across the fields and plains,
Green grass so cooling at my feet;
My heart sings out in joy,
For Your wondrous gift of life.

In Your name I live O Lord,
In Your name I pray;
In Your name I praise You Lord,
In Your name, Amen.

In the stillness of the deep dark night,
I seek You out in prayer;
You are the Light in my world,
Nobody can deny.

In Your name I live O Lord,
In Your name I pray;
In Your name I praise You Lord,
In Your name, Amen.

Walking along the sandy path,
Waves crashing to my side;
In these I see Your face O Lord,
And to these I give You praise.

In Your name I live O Lord,
In Your name I pray;
In Your name I praise You Lord,
In Your name, Amen.

Because

2008-11-28T09:16:00.003+08:00

Because of Him I have become,
because of Him I am me,
because of Him I'm safe from harm,
because of Him I am free.

In every time and space I know,
at any open field or crowded room,
to me He would always show,
His smile as would the bride to groom.

Because of Him I have become,
because of Him I am me,
because of Him I'm safe from harm,
because of Him I am free.

Once after He came down to die,
for all the sins, yours and mine,
I have lived and lived and for that I cry,
for joy of that mystery so divine.

And so now I give praise,
for this wonderous promise to earth He brought,
that after death He would raise,
raise me from all troubles wrought,
raise me past the highest mountains,
raise me to join Him in glory! Glory!

Because of Him I have become,
because of Him I am me,
because of Him I'm safe from harm,
because of Him I am free.

Contentment

2008-08-24T19:36:00.002+08:00

Seafood, freshly selected,
carefully prepared, tastefully presented.
Not a bad start, not at all.

Colours, carefully mixed,
released at one moment, somewhat randomly.
Not too shabby, not too drabby.

Capsules, created by glass,
going up and coming down, silent contemplation.
Not too awkward, thankfully.

More food, randomly chosen,
gladly consumed, satisfying enough.
Not too impressive, yet does the trick.

Finally, a short walk in the drizzle,
a quiet way to end the night.
But none above would I remember as clearly,
as your smiles throughout the night.
And to be able to be part of it,
I am content.

Q n A

2008-08-17T23:32:00.002+08:00

Questions, things that we are faced with...
Answers, things that we seek...
We try so hard to seek for these answers,
to the questions we are so often faced with.
And then there are those whom we know of,
who are faced with such questions..
And we think that somehow, someway,
we have the answers they seek.
But of course, we don't.
We hope we do, sometimes,
and yet, we should never assume anything.
This only serves to confuse ourselves too,
bringing confusion 2 levels up,
by letting confusion of someone,
become confusion of another...
How silly this may sound,
but indeed, it happens...
And now, I am confused too.

Song for the lonesome

2008-07-09T22:50:00.000+08:00

Verse 1
Looking at an empty space,
Standing all alone, feeling lost everywhere;
Walking down the long and winding path,
Only my shadow to keep me company.

Chorus
Why have I never seen You standing there?
Why did I never notice that You were by my side?
Standing over me shining in Your glory,
Giving me Your love unconditionally.

Verse 2
Holding out my outstretched hand,
Seemingly only to grab air;
Twirling by in solitude on the dance floor,
Humming a lonesome tune to myself.

Chorus
Why have I never seen You standing there?
Why did I never notice that You were by my side?
Dancing with me shining in Your glory,
Giving me Your love unconditionally.

2008-07-08T00:42:00.002+08:00

What is it about someone, that makes you want to love them so much?
What is it about something, that catches your eye so much you can't help but yearn to buy it?
What is it about somewhere, that brings forth so much emotions in memory?
What is it about life, that allows us to continue living?
What, wHat, whAt,whaT...

2008-06-09T23:29:00.002+08:00

So then, as work has started for about 3 weeks now, I would say that its great.. work load isn't too heavy yet, and I can still breathe comfortably. Been meeting lots of people and learning alot about this industry and still I have alot more to learn... But all in all, it is indeed a good job and start to working life for me.

Next aspect of life would be spiritual I guess... I have decided to be a principal facilitator for a Sec 3 church camp, perform a dance for WYD, draw for SPI, go for WYD, and rejoin RCIA as a sponsor. Thus marks the start of a desire to return to God in ways that I have been gifted for. Somehow, things have worked out in ways that push me towards utilising skills that I have been blessed in, and I am quite happy to do so. I sincerly hope that my doing so can somehow help me grow closer to Him, and that I will be able to grow in strength and love in Him... There are many aspects in my life that I am ashamed of and that I fall to temptation and make mistakes ever so easily.. But as I said, with these activities I pray that I learn to pray more too...

The usual suspect in my life of course needs little mention. This time round its a little different. Things seem a little more positive for me, and yet not so. Time seems to past me by so quickly, and yet not so. Basically, so much have happened and yet so little time has passed... Its like how people say that time as we know it is deemed and interpreted by what we do, so the more we do, the faster time seems to pass. But because of this, more confusion and fear is in play because I don't want this to be another hasty decision. I don't want this to be a replay of everything before... what I fear is that so many similarities are present and yet there are elements of difference.. Rarh.. Nvm.. let time tell then. I am willling to wait longer this time... until I am ready and when whoever that might be to be ready too.

directives

2008-06-02T22:36:00.002+08:00

As a sign post I now stand,
the way I point with my hand;
correct or not I am not sure,
but direction indeed for the blur.

Sigh... being a sign post isn't really that easy. What does it mean to be one? We stand around, and point people in the correct direction, although sometimes it should not be up to us to decide. It is alright if your role is to simply give some form of direction, however, sometimes we see that we have to point in directions we ourselves don't want to point. It's like how we are forced to give nice sounding advice to support the other who is sad, although we might not really want to? Conflict of interest if you may. SIGH...

2008-05-19T19:10:00.002+08:00

out of sight, out of mind,
leave your memories far behind.
Pray a little, sing a song,
and all your worries will be gone.

Whoever came up with the term "out of sight, out of mind" should just be shot.
It's obvious it doesn't/ hardly ever work...
How crappy dammit...

Life's simples

2008-05-15T13:13:00.002+08:00

If you are 2nd best at reading somebody, what does it show?
If you can understand someone so well that hardly any explanations are needed, what does that mean?
Is it always good to have someone who can understand you so perfectly?
Does this only lead to higher expectations of that person, and likewise more complications?
If you hang out too much with a person, such that time passed in reality is much shorter than time passed in feeling, does it account for anything?
If you feel so comfortable with someone would you expect something more to happen?

If all these questions could be answered, wouldn't the world just be a simpler place?

Corrs - What can I do

2008-05-15T13:10:00.000+08:00

I haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we've talked
And I have been here many times
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

There's only so much I can take
And I just got to let it go
And who knows I might feel better
If I don't try and I don't hope

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

No more waiting, No more aching
No more fighting, No more trying

Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just gonna let it fly

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

Love me..

The SMU days - Part 1

2008-04-25T13:32:00.002+08:00

School's finally over! Whee~ It's been a fulfilling 4 years in SMU to end off the 16 years of my life devoted to study. I guess it is only befitting that I do a full recount (as much as I can rememeber of course) about what I have done, hits and misses, regrets and fun things alike. So people who might be reading, this would be a long post coming in parts. For now, here goes.

Year 1 - Acad year 2004

Entering SMU as any freshie would have been exciting for any, if not for all. It was a reasonably new school and it still is a young one. The first batch of graduates had not even proven themselves to be all that the marketing had protrayed them to be. Would it be as fun? Would it be as different? Would this make that much a change in my life? These were one of the many questions going through my mind when I first went for the interview, let alone went I actually went to school. The common question back then was "why SMU?" and to me, I didn't have much of an answer. But now I do. Because it has really impacted my life in the way I wanted it to. And my University life has offered me perspectives that I didn't expect too.

There were some expectations of mine when I first started, and back then they might have seemed a little difficult to acheive. For starters, I wanted to open up more to mingle with and know more people. For anyone who actually know me when I was younger (read Secondary school, JC.. I am not THAT old ok...) would say that I am an introvert with little presence. In fact even my old friends admit, albeit somewhat apologetically, that they have little impression of me back when we were in the same class. I wanted to get more involved in school stuff and to explore further my interests in music and art. When I learnt about the exchange programme opportunities available, I set my eyes on Japan as my country of choice, and I wanted to travel about too. I wanted to go for an OCIP and to see the world in a different light. And fine.. I wanted to get a girlfriend too (haha.. ok how embarassing to admit..)

Before school even started, there were a few things to get in order. We had the orientation camp, and there was some 'networking' info session before this too. During the info session, we were each given 5 coasters of the same colour and we were required to exchange the coasters such that we had 5 different coloured coasters and in the process get to know 4 new people (at least). So from Day 1 (sort of) I got to put one of my 'missions' into play to mix and mingle. I noticed and remembered many people from that day, although when I met them again in the future they couldn't remember it. Oh well.. I guess I still wasn't impressionable enough then. But I remember people like Ellena, Shu Hui, Hui Min and Lauren, of which I only kept in contact with Ellena at first, but no matter.

During orientation, I realised that Hui Min was in my buddy OG, together with her brother WeiZhong whom I sought of knew since we were in the same camp in army. I also met the other great people from my group such as Eng Teck, Shi Hui, Michele, Stephanie, Bianca, Cherylyn, Shu Mei, Chloe and people from my buddy group such as Gracia, Dorcas, the Wilsons, Jasmin, Wei Xi, Hai Ling, Sel, Huimin and Weizhong. Sadly, I never really managed to keep in contact with all my group members and I was actually closer to my buddy group because they were more fun and not for *ahem* special reasons. Orientation itself was actually quite stupid, especially with crazy 'Uncle Sam' this ang moh who seemed clueless in running camps even though he argued otherwise. The programme itself was a flop whenever he was involved so thankfully we had other more fun and engaging stuff that we would all remember.

When term finally started, I was faced with so many new modules such as Analytical skills, Creative Thinking, and Business, Government and Society. These seemed a little out of point, but I guess its what builds character? It was good to have Eng Teck and Huimin in some of my classes so that I won't feel so alien in the classes. At first I still didn't mix much, but I got to meet 3 wonderful girls Joanne, Sylvia and Kristin. We ended up in numerous groups together, and we have worked in groups pretty much at least once each term ever since. Of course there were other great people I met too, such as Ker Yew, Xiao Hui, Christina, Ying Wen, Marcus, Frank, Denise, Mei Wen, Desheng, Aldric.. and the list goes on and on. I can't possibly name all the people whom I have met in classes since then, lest I go mad, and not to mention the boredom I would be granting any readers.

Of course, school wasn't just about classes. As planned, I joined numerous CCAs that were things that I wanted to do, or interested in. The then Articulate, Guitarissmo, Archery, and UNSA were just one of a few that I joined. There were also bazaars where people could sell stuff. I remember helping Gracia at her stall, where I made earrings and met her friends like Clara and ShuPing. Ha, I still recall how I felt intimidated by ShuPing (and I still do actually) although she is really quite pretty. But hmm... I was smitten by Gracia by then and I started to hang out more with her. Sadly, things didn't work out for us, and it is a chapter that I have willingly closed and we are still good friends now thankfully.

Anyway, life progressed naturally of course, with times spent on modules and fun alike. LTB meetings with my group mates like Charmain and our common bitch topic (no prizes for guessing whom about) and other 'fluffy' modules alike. Picnics in the Botanic Gardens, chilling at Viet Cafe outside the library, walking the distance to the Raffles block... There were chance meetings with a few very important people in my life such as Andrea, who has remained a close friend whom I care alot for. I joined the RCIA as a sponsor whilst she joined as a cathechumen and I am proud of her and her involvement in church, to see how much she has grown in the faith and more.

As all good things come to and end, the 1st year ended, but not without me commiting to becoming a facilitator for the next batch of students. We had to go through training and I was supposed to only be involved in 1 camp as a facilitator. In the end, I helped out in numerous other camps, like sports camp, SIS camp, Social Science camp, and Fides camp.. even a CIP camp! Through this I met even more people whom I could work with, talk to, or simply hang out with and have fun. Whenever I meet these people now I still can't imagine how random our chance meetings were. Of course, one thing to note is that I only joined Fides only to help out in the camp, and I have been with Fides ever since, with no regrets whatsoever of course.

I still feel apologetic to my freshies because of my failings as a facilitator. I was getting it over my head that I was improving with my interaction skills and I thought that I was ready to take on the task as a facilitator. Sadly, I was still not fully ready for it, and I lacked in energy and the ability to 'ra-ra' the group. If given a chance to re-think this decision, I would have probably only helped out rather than to take on a group as a facilitator, and the only one at that. This being said and done, I guess I have learnt alot during this process and met many people from diverse backgrounds. And this also marked the end of my eventful first year.

2008-04-19T11:03:00.002+08:00

listen. to what u said.
remember. of what I did.
think. for what's to come.
feel. this has to end.

2008-04-18T00:22:00.002+08:00

So, exams are over. It signals the end of life thus far as I know it. Ok, I am melodramatic, I recognise that. Sigh. School's out. The life I have known has revolved around studying. Sure, I haven't exactly been very studious, and I have been having fun apart from simply studying, but in the end, it has still been all about studies. And now, it's over. Was messaged this mornin at 3+am jus because my friend somehow couldn't sleep, and she attributes it to the fact that it was the last day of school... I dunno what to think anymore.. It doesn't help that I am facing 0 prospects now in anything pertainin to the future... and yes, I am still affected by everything arial... I really need to get a move on but hmmm... I have always been a sucker for words.

2008-04-14T14:38:00.002+08:00

The forest is lovely dark and deep
but i have promises to keep
and miles to go before i sleep
so as time upon me it doth creep
of faith I now have to leap
as tiredness into my bones doth seep
I remember how my troubles heap
and into the forest of dark and deep
I yearn to complete the miles till I find sleep

lonely disappearance

2008-03-24T10:46:00.004+08:00

Standing out and standing there,
no difference it makes anywhere,
from whence I stand or otherwise.
Light shines now with one shadow found,
none seen for others,
with that implications so profound.

Darkness comes with a chill,
sleep so difficult without the pill,
hark what noise I now hear,
shape shifters in my mind.
Away from here, away from here,
run, i wish, to far and beyond.

Learnt a skill,
to fade to back;
Excel at this I know,
as I am now about to do,
bat not an eyelid at this,
turn not a head,
and till the next time, anon.

much ado about thinking

2008-03-18T11:05:00.002+08:00

What does it mean to make one happy,
what does it feel like to be made happy?

How would you love someone,
how would you be loved by someone?

Why can you make one sad,
why can others make us sad?

When would we hate someone,
and when would that someone hate us?

To every question,
there is an answer,
but to every answer,
there's another question.

If all these questions come and go,
with all their answers in tow,
then why need be we ask these questions?

In truth we search for answers,
to problems we know not,
thinking deeper and deeper still,
we sink lower and lower in,
into the darkness.

It is human it seems to yearn the light,
especially in the darkness,
the darkness we so often enfold ourselves in,
even if it is not of choice,
or by reason,
but in darkness we reside,
and yet in darkness we are afraid.

Such confusion in my thoughts,
of questions and answers,
darkness and light,
love and hate,
happiness and sadness...
I think too much, surely.

2008-03-14T11:04:00.005+08:00

As promised, these are some pictures of the food that is available at my restaurant. Top quality premium sashimi and succulent, prefectly prepared katsu sets. Whet your appetites guys haha!

2008-03-02T15:58:00.003+08:00

So, its been some time since my last entry, and thankfully it is a happier one this time (thank God, really) Its about my recent trip to Bangkok to take a look at my 2 restaurants. For those who don't know yet, I own a small stake in the set up and ownership of these 2 Japanese restaurants, one of which just saw its Grand Opening, thus my being there the past week. The 2 restaurants are side by side, each with a different theme. The one you see above is named Sushi Izakaya Toru, which is a sushi bar. The food is slightly priceyI admit, BUT the quality is oh so good!! I will upload some pics soon hopefully. And it's not because I have a stake in this that I say that it is good, but it is really worth bragging. Even my friends who came with me thought it was wellworth the price.

The other restaurant is called Tonkatsu Raku Tei, as with the picture above. The food comes in gigantic proportions and is another value for $$ not to mention that it is already cheap to begin with.

I am really proud of these 2, although I haven't exactly done enough to garner the right to be proud about, but I shall be proud nonetheless. The best thing is that I have told my family about it after a long silence and thankfully they were very supportive about it. I was apprehensive initially, wondering when would be a right time to tell my Dad about it as I was afraid he might had some restrictions since he is more knowledgable than me about doing business. The good thing is that he was the most understanding about this, maybe as a show of his acknowledgement of me being older and more mature, or at least responsible enough for my own actions.

Anyway, for anyone who might be going to Bangkok, or if u are interested in visiting the restaurant(and to support me) please feel free to drop me a mail and I will gladly give you guys the address. :) until my next post with the pics of food :)

superman 2

2008-02-12T00:36:00.001+08:00

If superman can face troubles,
and he needs saving sometimes,
what more myself?
Someone, save me.
Not from anyone...
Just from myself.

superman

2008-02-12T00:05:00.000+08:00

Superman I am not,
no super powers;
unable to fly,
no x-ray eye,
not faster than a bullet,
not stronger than a moving train.

Charming looks I have not,
nowhere am I found in the looks department;
scathing riches to boast,
neither brains nor brawn to toast,
Nothing aesthetically pleasing,
and yet...

My heart's mine to give,
and to you I offer it;
I can guarantee I am more loving,
more caring,
and more genuine than all the others,
so why do you avoid me so?
Why should you reject my feelings,
my kind intent?
Don't you know how much it hurts?
No physical torture can describe an emotional scar,
Pale, the comparison, of the void and running afar.
I love you. I pray you'll love me too.

-Jesus

Capitals

2008-02-11T10:15:00.000+08:00

Avoidance with a capital A,
B with a capital B;
Confusion with a capital C,
Deterence with a capital D,
Expecting with a capital E,
F with a capital F;
G with a capital G;
Hesitant with a capital H,
Irritated with a capital I,
J with a capital J;
K with a capital K;
Lost with a capital L,
M with a capital M;
Nostalgic with a capital N,
O with a capital O;
Pushy with a capital P,
Q with a capital Q;
Rejected with a capital R,
Shunned with a capital S,
T with a capital T;
Unexpected with a capital U,
V with a capital V;
Wishing with a capital W,
X with a capital X;
Yearning with a capital Y,
Zonked with a capital Z.

Who can tell what I am thinking now? Because I have no idea myself...

confusion days

2008-02-01T13:06:00.000+08:00

What is it about something,
that makes you wonder about it?

What is it about someone,
that makes you wonder about him or her?

Since everything happens for a reason,
could confusion possibly be one of them?

Why is it that what you ever wonder,
is usually also what confuses?

The deeper we dig,
into the deep recesses of what is our mind,
we find more reasons behind the reasons,
excuses behind the excuses...
And in the end, we are only more confused,
more confused than when we first started.

As confusions days set in,
as what besets me now,
I am returned once again to days of past,
Oh, how nostalgic it seems,
as if I am back to the first day.

Sigh.
May this be over soon.

if u knew, Arial

2008-01-29T15:44:00.000+08:00

If you knew of the future,
and what it holds for you,
in all certainty,
would you grasp it, accept it, embrace it?
would you do nothing to change it?

If you knew what you are really doing,
now in the present,
then how do you really think of it?
Do you really think that what you do is right?
And if you know its wrong,
why do you still continue?

If you knew how history unfolded,
and you can look back in retrospect,
why would you continue with the faults,
and not change for the future?

If you knew how history unfolded,
then would you be able to pick and choose,
to regret the wrongs,
and take pride in the rights?

If you knew that much,
then would the present be any different?
Would there be any changes for the future?

If you knew that which I see,
that which I hear,
that which I feel,
would you listen to me?
Would you listen to any other?

If you knew true love,
in its essence,
not its proposed form,
would that then make a difference?

If you knew what might comfort you,
would you choose that?
Would you rather this than to face the future?
To make a change,
to erase the past,
to take control of the present,
to listen, and to act?
Would you run away from conflict,
from anger and from hate,
from fights and from tiffs,
and live a life of peace?
To live a life where you look back,
silently asking yourself,
if u knew...

Memories?

2008-01-16T09:37:00.000+08:00

Sunshine, rain,
Clouds and green,
return from the white,
return from the cold,
back for good,
back from good,
leaving the old, back to the new?

After the chill,
now facing the heat,
back to reality,
away from surreality,
wake up now,
no time to dream,
packed away memories,
till a later time.

One last push,
till another date,
the end is nigh,
no turning back,
the ending of a phase,
entering into another,
new fears faced,
old ones revisited,
till when is the real end?

2007-12-15T18:27:00.000+08:00

Well, as usual, I've taken a really long time to blog my next entry haha. Well, I'll blame it mainly to the fact that my computer has utterly broken down. At first it just started going slower and slower, and finally it became impossible to start up and now, the hard disk has totally crashed.. with all my data in it... The most important being the pictures I've drawn and my resumes and stuff like that... what a joke, and a sad one at that. SIgh....

Anyway, since the last time, I have been to Hawaii, and this was great. There couldn't have been any better timing because it coincided with the coldest week in Calgary thus far (read -25 friggin degrees) and it was a great warm week for me. Well, its actually cooler and less humid than Singapore so I found it really livable tho my travel mates were complaining slightly since they were unable to adjust fully. For me, it was paradise indeed. Well, it was raining a little too much than what you'd expect from Hawaii given its "sun, sand, sea" impression, due to the freak tropical storm that was blowing over Hawaii at that time.

Weather apart, it was really great. Well, the forests were obviously no wonder to me, though it was to one of my travel mates. But the beaches... wooo... they were so beautiful. The sand was find, the water clear and blue. Oh I haven't seen such blue seas for some time now... can't even remember when that was the last time I did see such a thing, if I did. Waves crashing here and there, it was really quite different to the beaches I am more accustomed to back home. But oh, what was the best was the snorkeling experience I had! It was one of the best experiences for me thus far, together with hiking Mt Kananaskis, skiing, and walking the Grand Canyon to name a few. Looking at fish through glass is one thing, looking at them swim around and below you is another. They were so pretty, in such beautiful colours, colours that you won't even think associated with fish. More exciting would be the swim with the turtles! It was sooooo awesome, seriously. Looking at these turtles swimming around gracefully and slowly, nibbling at seaweed or some other vegetation on the corals... it was to say the least, a relaxing time all in itself. When they surfaced for air, you could see their heads pop up over the water, u cuold even hear them breathe out! It was so damn cool... Its a pity I had no photos to speak of.

Well, now I have come back to Calgary and its cold again, but suprisingly its actually quite warm... by Calgary standards at least. Which makes living here for the last few days more bearable at least. I can't believe that I'm only within a week from leaving this place for good. Its been a really quick 3 months actually, or is it due to all the fun I've been having such that I have lost track of time, I have no idea. Whatever the case, I am within a short time from my last leg of my journey, where I travel around again... Its not as extensive as my friends in Europe of course, but its more than enough for me I think. Being able to visit 2 of the world's natural wonders, to travel to the more talked about cities in the North America and Canada regions... climbing mountain, skiing, snorkeling, meeting all these great people, breaking barriers of sorts... its been one of the best times in my life thus far and I'm really thankful for being given this chance, thanks to my parents of course, who have been funding my financial needs and supporting me along the way.. Really thankful for that of course.

And so, this time is about to end, and happy memories to remain as such, until the next time we meet again, the happy faces (albeit drunken ones half the time) would be those only on pictures for a long time to come. Till we meet again, cheers.

2007-11-21T01:09:00.000+08:00

Alrighty, time for updates I guess haha. The inactivity on my blog is partly because of the lack of creative juices worthy of blogging, and the partly because I've been pretty busy lately. Let's see.. on the 7th Nov to 12th Nov, I was in Vancouver, and on 17th to 18th Nov I was skiing

Firstly, Vancouver. It was a great place, despite the slightly drippy weather. It was a nice change of environment for me, as they have a real autumn there. The leaves on the trees come in a myriad of colours, ranging from green to yellow to orange, even pink and red, it was beautiful indeed. We made a visit to UBC, and it really is much larger than UofC and more beautiful, probably because of the trees and environment. There were really many Asians there too, which kinda reminded me how I would be missing seeing Caucasians everywhere I turn when I go back to Singapore. The only problem with Vancouver's weather is that it's more humid, so even when u go back into your room, its as cold inside as it was outside.... thankfully enough it was only 6 degrees as opposed to the -6 here in Calgary. It was a waste that I did not manage to try Asian food there since the people I was travelling with were not keen on the idea of Asian food, so majority wins... I'm still happy to have been there, and I won't mind going back some time in the future. Maybe in summer this time. Oh and point to note, I never realised that being with the same people all the time could be that stressful. Within only 5 days there was some kind of tension going on and it was stupid. Some people are just not meant to travel with others if they are unable to suck it up and just vent later. But whatever, I shall do the same.

Skiing was loads of fun. It was freezing, so my fingers and toes were in an almost constant state of numbness, and it was a tad uncomfortable, but the skiing more than made up for it. I first hit the low bund to get used to the skiis. Suprisingly enough, I didn't fall and I was able to ski almost immediately by imitating whatever I saw on TV. Kudos to American movies. After half the day skiing down that low bund, I though I had grasped enough of the technique to hit the actual ski run. Well, I hit it alright... by falling 10 times down the slope. I was apprehensive everytime I saw a steep drop of the slope and would fall over. Thankfully I had friends around who stuck by me to help me up though I felt really bad for holding them up. I learnt my lesson, and went back to the bund after I finally reached the bottom of the ski run. On the 2nd day, I attempted the ski run once more after the usual practice on the low bund. This time, I improved alot (not being proud here, just stating what my friends said... aren't they just so nice?). I only fell a total of 6 times in 7 runs, and 2 of the times was because on my last run, my thighs were so tired they started to stiffen and I could not turn so I figured falling and resting would be a wiser choice. The general comment by my more experienced friends was that I seemed to be going real fast, too fast for someone who had just learnt to ski, but otherwise still doing very well in manuovering down the slope. Success! Now I have one more experience to add to my list of "have to do it again" activities.

This week, it's probably more quiet, maybe just a party on Fri and a 2 performances over the weekend to watch, but otherwise nothing. Instead, it's time to get geared up for my Hawaii trip next week for a whole week, woo hoo~

Tick Tock

2007-11-08T04:36:00.000+08:00

Tick tock tick tock,
the incessant noise of that infernal clock,
proving nothing less important,
than the time in passing.

The time in passing,
it hints to many;
a measure of something,
hardly grasped by any.

Within a time,
before the bell doth chime;
relationships made,
nothing more need be said.

Then would come the ending,
as one would expect;
goodbyes we would be sending,
to ones we do respect.

Heartaches, tears, memories treasured.
Yearning, longing, reminicing, remembering.
Words to describe whatever we feel,
simply because of the passing of time,
simply because of the ticking of the clock.

2007-11-02T15:02:00.000+08:00

After many weeks here, we finally decided to have a good, big meal together. Well, not really decided, but it was more impromptu. One of my Japanese room mate's birthday is tomorrow so he got one of his friends over to have Takoyaki. And I cooked some stuff too, so it was a pretty big meal as u can see in the picture below.

On top of that, I also baked strawberry shortcakes~ haha, I think they look pretty good, and they taste pretty decent too.

2007-10-28T16:21:00.000+08:00

Ooh, its been so much fun this weekend. It was Halloween weekend so I signed up for a pub crawl thingy, and its my first pub crawl. How exciting, 13 hours or clubbing... it was really tiring too of course. And well, with every Halloween, of course there are the costumes, and the cheapo that I am, I spent $15 and about 15 hours to make it. I was supposedly Death, as you can see in the photo below. More photos on facebook as usual :)

2007-10-25T13:28:00.000+08:00

After days of telling people back home that the weather's been good and it hasn't snowed yet even though it should have, according to past records, it snows...

It was raining at first and my friend mentioned the chance of snow but I scoffed at her comment and didn't think much of it. And when I walked out, I had to eat my words, and first snow.

It was beautiful. There's a certain romantic feel of snow at night. It's still not fully formed yet, as in its wet snow, but still, its enough to cover the trees, giving it an illuminous glow. It was enough to cover the ground in its purity. And the effect it had on the otherwise worried and stressed Uni students... People put down their pens and books and came out to savour the moment, and became once again small kids, frolicking in the snow and having mini games of snow ball fights and chasing one another. It was an endearing sight of sorts, to see friends come together once more in these stressful times of the midterms. And so I leave you with 2 shots before my camera battery gave out on me.

Beautiful isn't it?

2007-10-22T13:35:00.000+08:00

Feet firmly planted,
the view before me daunts me;

the challenge seems too great,

my will does not help unfaze me.

First step forward,
my boot grips the ground firmly;

the elevation surprises me,

or should it even?

Step by step,

moving on;

feet grow heavy,

weighs a ton.

Breaths are laboured,

as I rise;

slopes are tapered,

spelling my demise.

Cold is blistering,
wind is howling;
fingers freezing,

and mind, wheeling.

But finally at the peak I reach,

and from there my reward stands;

the view, magnificient,

beauty perfected.

Ok, this is a pretty sad attempt to sound poetic with regards to my hike today. I went hiking up Kananaskis to its peak, at 2000+ metres which was some altitude for me. Well, its not that high as hikes go, but its my first hike to that height, first hike in snow, and first height with such steepness, which was 50 to 70 degrees elevation for the most part. It took me 3.5 hours, but it was worth it. The view.. it took my breath away, (pun intended) and well.. word's can't describe it, and neither can pictures though I can try...

This is the view from the top.
The upper and lower Kananaskis lakes.. the name kinda reminds me of upper and lower pierce reservoirs
And finally, me on the peak with the dizzying background behind me :)

food

2007-10-16T17:30:00.000+08:00

Well, the title doesn't hide much I guess, and I'm bored, so here's just some random food pics that I've been having here in Calgary. It's not much, but it suffices I guess.

This was some sort of fried rice. It was pretty good I think.. just not spicy enough.
This one here was grilled trout on the left, and broiled cabbage with bacon on the right
The one on the left is something like Hor Fun, just without the noodles, cooked by my Japanese room mate. The dish on the right is some potatoes and minced beef with chilli.
This is Thai fried beef noodles which is once again not spicy enough. I start to wonder if they purposely watered down their chili sauce here just for the Canadians...
Ah, beef steak with mushrooms and pepper with potato slices and Vit C water. Great meal I would say. Beef is cheaper than chicken, and fish is the most expensive, thus one might notice the overusage of beef in my dishes (apart from the fact that I love beef)
And finally, what better way to end the day than with a beer. So here I am as a can of Becks Beer. Cheers everyone.

2007-10-09T13:44:00.000+08:00

So I'm back from my thanksgiving trip from Banff and Jasper. It was a really really beautiful place, I still marvel at it when I scan through the pictures. I can't imagine waking every morning to a postcard-worthy view, or breathing in such fresh air. As much as each mountain might look the same, each one returns a different sense of awe and wonder. Truly, the beauty of nature is astounding.

I was on one of the glaciers and there was simply so much snow and ice that I decided to make a picture, so viola

wild nights, tame days

2007-10-02T06:49:00.000+08:00

After many a beer and wild party, I awake to find myself with these beauties. Say hello to my new "roomies". I simply couldn't resist the shot...

HA!

GOTCHA!

Ok this is just the new poster that I have in my living room. There was some poster sale going on in my Uni today and my roomie was so excited, and he had already bought 2 when he told me. And her was raving so much about this poster so I went ahead and bought it since I like it very much too haha! Pretty neat eh? Now my hostel looks more... warm and house-like ahha. and we have a microwave too! Now we can cook extra and reheat it the next day. Kinda helps us be more at ease when cooking and we don't have to limit our portions for fear of wastage.

Warm days, blistering nights

2007-09-27T06:46:00.000+08:00

It's been a good day today. Great weather and all. I could even go grocery shopping without having to put on a sweater,which is really a miracle of sorts. The only irritating part of today was the fire drill they had at 6am this morning... it was so sudden, and everyonewere just too disoriented this morning it was actually as amusing as it was irritaitng...

Oh I finally managed to boil rice here. Previously I did not buy rice cos it would have been too much, but now that I have rice, I had difficulty boiling it. The first time I tried, it got so bad that the rice just stuck to the bottom of the pot. Thankfully my Jap housemate was a rice expert and he taught me how to cook perfect rice haha. Perfect cos it went well with the Teppanyaki styled beef, bean sprouts and cabbage.. a decent meal for a change. I've been eating well of course, but just not really something I would consider a meal..

Anyway, this blog is getting too descriptive, quite unlike me I think.

Let's see what words I can muster,
to describe this cold and bluster,
without practice I'm all a fluster,
and no longer of words am I their master.

Wind, cold and piercing,
Sun, lost amongst the clouds;
Leaves fall asunder,
grass billows in wake;
a squirrel scampers from tree to tree,
with fear of winter looming,
hark the tell tale signs so obvious,
even in summer it doth start snowing.

A sudden glint,
a warm gleam,
the sun is back to save us;
ever strong,
ever silent,
the hero returns once more.

Alas for the sun however,
this battle is not his definite win;
the time is not upon us yet,
to cast the cold away for good.
We will wait,
as we have always,
in faith of his return.
As always we will wait.
Anon.

sour snow

2007-09-21T09:45:00.000+08:00

Brrr.. its gettin so much colder here, and its so erratic damn it. Like one day its fine and dandy, and by night time it suddenly gets cold, and the next morning, it snows! In September! When the sun still sets at 8pm and its just the beginning of Autumn, and its snowing! Wah... I mean it was real pretty and all, and it was my first time seeing snow, like literally falling around you, but still! It was so random I tell you. Ah well, many more days like this I assume.. the weather forecast for the next 2 weeks supposedly places Calgary in a temperature range of -2 to 10, with only 1 or 2 days past 17... Is it cold, or is it cold...

Anyway, well for the first time, I cooked for my room mate... well, kinda first time. Cos we all have this tendency to cook by ourselves. Like the French guy doesn't cook at all, one Jap guy cooks pre-cooked food like fish and chips, and the other guy, pretty much cooks anything. So this time, I figured that I should be nice and try to cook something Chinese, and binge off the roomie's rice while I'm at it. So well, since I had pork cutlets and all, I decided to cook Gu Lu Yo or sweet and sour pork. So I happily went to buy the pineapples and all, then today when I was cooking, I realised that I didn't have soy sauce, or cornstarch or sesame oil... Then after that, I realise that I din have the correct utensils to cook... so well, I had to improvise... salt and water for the soy sauce, and egg to sub for the cornstarchy texture, and well, I can do without the sesame oil. I had to use a pot which was a size too big, and I had to deep fry the pork with oil tat only covered half the pork. My room mate prob got scared off half way and retreated to his room. Oh well, I had to improvise all over, but in the end, thankfully, both of us had food to eat. In my opinion, it was a little too sour, but my roomie says its ok. Maybe he's just nice, I dunno, but we're guys so I doubt it. aha... well then, I'll probably start more chinese cooking while I'm here cos I found a place that sells Chinese food stuffs so yea... I hope I wun have such problems with improvisation after this...

2007-09-13T16:10:00.000+08:00

Just had a great evening, so I thought I should share. There's a bar thing on campus where alcohol and food is served. Beer is about 4.25 CAD a pint, so that'll be about 7 SGD, so tats kinda normal, and the food prices are about... 8.99 CAD aburger with fries and stuff like that. So yea, its pretty expensive. However, they have special nights where there are discounts and stuff like that. So tonight, its wings night. What this means is, each wing is 0.25 CAD, and u have ot order 10, so its 2.50 for 10 wings, and u can jus have this for dinner and it'll fill u right up, together with maybe a pint or 2 of beer. And tonight was spent with so many international students from all over the place. I've met people from New Zealand, Canada, England, Czeh, Ireland, Germany, Hong Kong and Japan, just to name a few... can remember their names now, but I'm not too sure about their faces, especially since it was pretty dark there, but otherwise yea it was a pretty good night.. and there'll be other parties around too, like 80s theme party and other stuff like that... great.

2007-09-13T03:27:00.000+08:00

Well then, classes have officially started and so far, its almost a joke, cos of the timetable. Macroecons is on Mon, Wed and Fri from 10am to 1050am. I have no connecting classes after that so basically I start my day early and end it early too. Entrepreneurship is on Tue and Thurs from 330pm to 445pm, so my Thurs starts in the middle of nowhere... Tues night I have Portfolio management at 6pm to 920pm so thats considered my long day. Lastly, and the most sucky I might add, is Microecons which is on SAT 8am to 1120am. This completely shuts down any plans to do travelling over the weekends, but oh well... as an exchange student who has already kinda taken these courses, I can afford to 'work around' the times *hint hint*.

The next thing that will kill all forms of travelling is the textbooks. I knew it was expensive here, but I didn't realise how expensive till I checked it out. Micro and Macro (basic) textbooks would cost $130.95 CAD each, Portfolio Management costs $178.95 CAD and lastly, Entrepreneurship costs $81.95 CAD which brings to a grand total of... $522.80 CAD without taxes. After taxes, its about $554.17 CAD and finally, $809.10 SGD... omg... what can I buy in SGP for that amount of money? I can buy the i-phone (which is simply beautiful by the way), I can get 147 comics at $5.50 each... basically, the amount I would have to spend on these 4 books is equivalent, if not more than, all the items I brought over to Canada, sans my lappie and camera and handphone. How do the people here survive? I don't understand why it should be so expensive here seriously... For the past 3 years I have never spent more than 100 SGD on books in any term... in fact I think I only spent a total of... 3, 4 hundred on books over the last 3 years? Sigh...

Calgary

2007-09-09T14:39:00.001+08:00

Alright, so I am now finally in Calgary. whoppee... I can tell u its really cold here. When I arrived, it was about 10 and it has stayed that way so far, tho its a little erratic. When the sun comes out, it can rise to about 20 or more, then the clouds come by or the wind picks up and its back to 10... I won't be surprised if it went below 10 sometimes too. Its freezing when I take my bath but its alright once I am out of the bathroom cos I think the house is heated.

The room's pretty nice, spacious and all as u can see above. Just need to get a pillow. For now its holding up as one of my long pants which is reasonably comfy, jus a tad too small.

Food here's expensive too.. kinda like US, but I guess I will survive. Just went grocery shopping today and I bought quite a bit. Should last for some time haha. Oh and I watched my very first American Football game today! It was hmm.. kinda fast and slow at the same time. Fast as in the action of it all, with the constant thigh grabbing, chest pushing, arm locking and shoulder banging happening within a few seconds or so. However, every time a tackle is made (and this happens almost constantly) the time stops and they hustle again, thus the slow part. But it was fun nontheless. Pictures on facebook sorry ahha!

Down Town LA

2007-09-07T13:40:00.000+08:00

St Mary's Cathedral in LA

An old Spanish wood sculpture... beautiful

The reprint of the painting of Mary of Guadalupe (I think?)

Water court in Down Town LA

Angel's Flight cable car/ tram

Grand Central Market

Civic Centre

The Walt Disney Music Theatre

Another Music Centre

Metro, the most loved travel form here

Some shiny building... kinda schweet for an office eh

actually, you guys should go to my face book to see the pictures.. uploading them here is a real bitch cos somehow I am only allowed to upload 4 at a time and there are about 200 of 'em.

2007-09-07T12:18:00.000+08:00

Alright its now a looong time since I blogged haha. I mean, its not really that loong in terms of days passed, but tis been long in terms of what I have been doing. Since my last post, I have been to Las Vegas, Grand Canyon, San Fran's fisherman's wharve, Seattle's pike fish market and all that. What can I say, its been a blast.

Let's start with Las Vegas. The part of the desert Nevada which provides enough vice to equal its weight in sand. Lust? Check. Gluttony? Check. Greed? Check. Sloth? Check. Anger? Check. Envy? Check haha. well then, need I say more? There really is alot of things that Las Vegas offers to people, subtle or otherwise. But oh well... the casinos were really beautiful. Innovative, bright, colourful... every thing that I imagined it to be, thankfully. But that is not the highlight of being in Nevada. The highlight has to be my visit to the Grand Canyon. It is indeed a wonder to the world; it really is Grand. Just standing there and looking out at the expanse of canyon, the 3 hour plus drive becomes remote, the hustle bustle of the casinos some 3 hundred miles away are long gone, and finally, it seems almost as if I have found for myself a glimpse of paradise. It really is wonderful. You can almost see how the hand of God had a play in this, leaving nature and time to do its work but yet like a painter He knows the final art work. Like a tireless composer God has added new notes to this composition which has taken so many years to compose and is still left incomplete. Then again, what is our time compared to His? With every step I took along the rim of the canyon, the view I got was different, as if as a reminder to me that the wonders of God's creation is indeed unlimitless and is not for human minds to understand totally. The pictures I will post in due time do no justice to the immense beauty of it all. Sigh... how I wish I could go back now...

Oh well, moving along now, I went to San Fran. Now, this is really a colourful place, if u get my drift (think rainbow... ring a bell?) There was this one time when I was on the cable car (more like a tram actually) and when we stopped momentarily along the sidewalk, this gay couple decided to give us a free show of sorts and starting tonguing each other in full view of everyone there! Well, I am accepting to their nature, but such PDA can still make me squirmish at times. Who can blame me right? I also saw the most I saw of homeless, blacks( sorry dun wanna be racist here but I can't think of a better term to coin it) and beggars and schitzos. They just sit around, and drink, or beg, or dig at cans, or talk to themselves, and well, the works. It is really saddening to look at, as much as it makes me uneasy. You never really know what they are thinking, or what they can do, and its highly disturbing. Alright, apart from that, San Fran was really a hilly place, and that is an understatement. I think I did enough walking to last me a long time, and it was all up or down slopes... real tiring on the legs. There were some nice sights too of course, like Alcatraz and the Golden Gate and Bay bridges.

Seattle is a pretty quiet kind of place to me. Shops were closed by 8 and the streets were real quiet and empty and dark. Scary? U'betcha. I was walkin about kinda late and it was getting to my exchange buddy how dark and lonely the streets had become as we walked briskly back to our hostel. And it was a loooong walk too. Not that many sights to see here, tho the Underground tour and the whole history of Seattle is really interesting.

Well then, till the next post, which would probably be just pictures, cheerios.

2007-08-30T14:31:00.000+08:00

Hmmm still can't get used to the date difference thing, like its Thurs in Singapore now but its still Wed night here in LA... Anyway just an update or 2...

Firstly, following up from my previous post, I have been really blessed such that the travel agency was willing to cancel the booking and give me an almost full refund which will help offset the payment I had to come up with here... I am like damn thankful lah!

Alright, back to life here, I went to Hollywood Universal Studios on Tues after a fairly well rested Mon night.. It was money well spent I think... entrance was 55 USD, tho I think in this aspect I am like damn suae... its either me or my exchange buddy. It's like after we bought the tics on Mon afternoon, we went to BK to grab a bite, and we saw this coupn thing that would have allowed us to purchase entrance tickets for 46! Like really irritatin. Then on Tues night, we both got a pair of sunnies for 10 each, but after we just crossed a street, like really, a one friggin lane pathway, we see a shop that sells sunnies at 3 for 10! Really really being played with by circumstance. Anyhow, the day was well spent.... We were there from 9am + till 9pm + so it was a full 12 hour enjoyment thing. All the rides were sat, all the performances were watched so yea... The Jurassic Park ride is like real good, but the impact of the final drop is not very good for guys, erm... if u know what i mean (girls, dun bother about this part. I doubt if u will get a reply even if u asked) The other rides were ooook lah, entertaining enough. Thankfully waiting time was not as long as those that u might find in Disneyland. The performances were good too! Well choreo and highly entertaining/ amusing. As I said earlier, it was really a day well spent.

Today, I went to a few places. I went to visit a certain Catherdral of Mary of the Angels. It's a catholic church, with many things from Spain, including the designer of the church and the relics. There was this relic of Mary of Guacamole ( the picture that was given to Jose something), and there was a giant sculture thingy that was so beautiful that I was moved to erm tears... ok lah, only one or 2 haha... but it was powerful.. and there was the basement columnbarium where a Saint's tomb lay. There were also these beautiful stained glasses depicting important events such as the Annunciation, Assumption and the birth of Christ. The experience was... breathtaking and humbling... Of course we looked at other things in Downtown LA, but this is most memorable.

We then headed to the Venice and Santa Monica Beach. DAMN BEAUTIFUL.... What can I say. The sand is soft and fine, the beach stretches as far as the eye can see, the sea reaches out to the meet the sky in the far expanse out yonder. We had so much fun marvelling at the beauty that we forgot we were being cooked in the sun. The best thing about it is that we don't feel all that hot since the wind is almost chilly so its jus right... Oh, the water is really cold though...

Our last stop was Beverly Hills Rodeo Drive. Its a pretty little place with very expensive shops. All the BIG names and we felt so underdressed all the time that we were there. Oh btw, I forgot to mention that the 'we' and 'our' that I have mentioned are actually me, my exchange buddy and this new girl from Columbia that we met this morning from the same hostel. Very nice person and she taught us a few Spanish phrases. She was the one who told us about the Cathedral and I am really grateful to her.

Back to this, well, we went back to Hollywood after that and we went for a Mexican dinner. Really nice, and the best thing was that on our way to the place, we saw this opening for some small series or something, so there were camera men and photographers all around and of course there were the stars! Hmm ok, more like star, cos we only saw one. The nice lady who acts as Bree in Desperate Housewives and some other extras were there on a small red carpet but well, it was interesting to watch.

So there you have it, it was 2 full and wholesome days well spent hee! Till the next time then.

Adventures part 1

2007-08-28T10:54:00.000+08:00

Alrighty I am now in LA and back in the bloggin scene... well kinda. Now I have a reason to touch this otherwise disfunctional blog. Ok, but enough about that... It's time to complain, what else can a blog be best used for?

The flight was oooook... 7 hours to Japan, 1 hour transit and another 9 hours to LA. My butt cheeks weren't ever that sore I think, and my back too! Food was not tat bad, but inflight entertainment... well, let's just say that Northwest seems to prefer the minimalist concept? I was supposed to be sleeping anyway but goodness sleeping on the plane is terrible. I feel as if I sleep very long but I only sleep for like 2 hours and such... in the end, I reach LA with a terrible jet lag, with LA laggin Singapore by 15 hours...

Next terrible thing that happened. My first hostel stay, and the booking was made on the wrong date! So I not only dun get my room, but I have to pay upfront again for another room which in my opinion is worse, and I am paying more for this room than I would have for the original room! Thankfully of course there was an available room in the first place, lest me and my buddy really be stranded without a place. Now all that's left is that hopefully the travel agency will be able to refund me my money... pray pray...

Alright then, its time to go rest up a bit.. will post pics whenever I can, and then again you peeps should know how badly I work with a cam. Till the next time, stay tuned to the adventures of Wah!Stone in USA...

2007-08-27T01:26:00.000+08:00

To all of you who have made my past few days really enjoyable. I love you guys, as much as I dun seem to show it on my face, but I really appreciate all your efforts and time. I've had a great time. See you all next year!

2007-04-30T20:46:00.000+08:00

OK, THIS IS THE END. THIS BLOG IS CLOSED INDEFINETELY.

FOR ALL THE TIMES WE'VE SHARED,
NOTHING IN THE WORLD CAN BE COMPARED,
MEMORIES AND EMOTIONS HAD,
AND THIS END IS SOMEWHAT SAD,
BUT BLOGGING IS NO MORE JUST A FAD,
FOR THE FUN AND WHERE I HAVE BEEN LED,
TO THIS I AM SINCERELY GLAD.

GOODBYE.

2007-03-13T23:07:00.000+08:00

Note the "likes idleness and laziness after long demanding hours of work" how true!!! haha... oh, u can click on the pic to see the rest of the descriptions

2007-03-13T23:05:00.000+08:00

according to this, my birthday falls such that I am a fig tree, and check out the description of the fig tree

saviour

2007-03-04T22:56:00.000+08:00

This is my latest painting... sort of a Lenten Project if you may. More colour mixing for this painting, and my first religious one.

2007-02-16T17:13:00.000+08:00

The lonely lover, so says I this Valentines

2007-01-22T00:07:00.000+08:00

This one is for Fides, the Catholic society, thus the reference to sheep... not sure if it'll be implemented though.

2007-01-22T00:06:00.000+08:00

This is the same shirt in the mirror... now u can read the words right? haha!

2007-01-22T00:04:00.000+08:00

ok my latest attempt at a shirt for a shirt design competition

2007-01-14T14:44:00.000+08:00

Oh well, it was one of those boring days... Tried drawing a girl... realised as long as they keep their eyes shut, the girl would still look like a girl haha.

2006-12-23T22:35:00.000+08:00

The same pic jus turned vertically

2006-12-23T22:33:00.000+08:00

Got this idea from the artist M.C Escher and its for my sis's new house... hope she like it

Joke

2006-12-18T13:12:00.000+08:00

Ok so I took this little quiz cos I was bored and whoopeedo what a joke of a result I have...

2006-11-24T11:55:00.000+08:00

My stab at couple Tees... kinda kiddish tho, darn... upload the actuals later

2006-11-13T00:48:00.000+08:00

I realise that I don't really take many photos, let alone with a proper smile. This is as natural a smile as you can catch me in. Jun does a much better job than me obviously. :)

2006-11-13T00:45:00.000+08:00

Here with Sydney. Small girl with a big heart. Last photo from Hsu's birthday... sigh time passes so quickly...

2006-11-13T00:43:00.000+08:00

Here with Celine, really really pretty gal, the Queen of Queens! :) Realised that there were 2 photos missing from the Hsu birthday stash, this being one of them... how could I not have noticed!

2006-11-11T23:36:00.000+08:00

And finally, here's my label. cute right? lol... ok, albeit narcissistic, but who cares

2006-11-11T23:34:00.000+08:00

From the side.. haha talk about retro

2006-11-11T23:27:00.000+08:00

So this is the finished product... although it took me real long to get the shirt haha

2006-10-16T01:14:00.000+08:00

Feel like drawing this on a tshirt for myself... front to back... hmmm... bored after studying lah haha.

2006-10-12T12:59:00.000+08:00

And this is the back. Glad that you liked it gurl. Happy Birthday!

2006-10-12T12:58:00.000+08:00

Ok, at the request of a dear fren, I drew a shirt for her. This is the front

2006-10-12T12:57:00.000+08:00

My bag tore, so I decided to be a Giam Gu and fix it myself haha! Talk about scrimping

2006-10-12T12:55:00.000+08:00

And this is the back view... Pretty narcisstic eh? hmmm

2006-10-12T12:54:00.000+08:00

Hmmm, this is the full picture of the shirt I wore... like finally haha

2006-09-29T14:16:00.000+08:00

and finallly hot hot Jamie... the closet to being Lian with her hot shorts and LV bag aha

2006-09-29T14:15:00.000+08:00

Taken at Hsu's birthday a few mths back... as she would say "I heart my theme", trust her to come out with an Ah Beng theme... go figure

2006-09-15T10:33:00.000+08:00

oops I lied, that wasn't the last picture haha. THIS one is! haha. With Jun this time, and her costume is HAWT haha :)

2006-09-15T01:09:00.000+08:00

one last pic of me in my shirt haha (how narccissitic I know), with Andrea one of the other models this time. Love the huge key, real creative design

2006-09-15T01:07:00.000+08:00

the other side of the shirt with Celest this time... and this is going out to you girl, your singing rocks :)

2006-09-15T01:03:00.000+08:00

heres the shirt I modelled in... dun mind the gay looking shiny lips please. And dun even think of commenting about those "smoky eyes"..

2006-09-15T00:58:00.000+08:00

the pseudo lawn on the sink top to match the forest haha

2006-09-14T00:28:00.000+08:00

eyes on me? haha

2006-09-14T00:27:00.000+08:00

the interior of one cubicle door

2006-09-12T16:04:00.001+08:00

Another toilet

2006-09-12T16:04:00.000+08:00

one of the toilet doors

2006-09-02T01:45:00.000+08:00

One of the captions. The matching one in the girl's toilet reads "Wise women say" to complete "wise women say, only fools flush in" haha, ring a bell?

2006-09-02T01:44:00.000+08:00

the neater back wall

2006-09-02T01:43:00.000+08:00

One of the cubicle doors, too bad some of the post-its dropped

2006-09-02T01:42:00.000+08:00

the toilet door

2006-08-29T01:18:00.000+08:00

busy with the upcoming Arts Fest in school. It's gonna be a blast... or so I hope. Just wish it would look as good and be as impactful as I wish it to be. Once the work is done I'll post pics for once. Till then, hope all who read this space still would be happy and blessed in school :)