morning lullaby

Staring at my screen, my vision blurs to a swirl of bright coloured lines for essentially, that is what it is. When ur eyes break down the optical illusion the computer screen tries to present to you, you know you are too tired. However, I do not feel tired. No, I should not say this. Rather, I should say that I cannot find solace in sleep. Wait you people, I know what you all are about to say "why so depressing?" right? No no, this is not depressive. Far from it. Ok, maybe not far, because that would mean that I am happy, and I can't stamp down my foot to proclaim that that is what I am. Instead, just take this as ramblings of a tired mind. This is the time where you see poor tired souls of SMU, fighting to stay awake, fingers flying over the keyboard, eyes straining at the screen, overheating their arse by sitting in one never changing position. 32 at 3am, 19 at 4am and 13 at 5am, all from SMU. To think that these people can reply promptly enough when I message them, it speaks volumes about the current state of SMU students. I am probably one of the few people up at this ungodlyhour with no apparent or rightful reason to be up. I blame it on a long and restful sleep the night before. Is this all? Naye; Oh how I wished it was so. I ponder about what I want to be, who I want to be, how I want to be, where I want to be. Of course I would be plagued with who I want to be with, how I want to be with her, where I want to be with her, and what I want to come out of being with her. Please do not misread, I mean 'her' here as just a representation of a female, a reassurance to others that I am not gay, and far from it. Urgh, I feel miserable... only because I brought it upon myself.... what do I do now? stay awake till I go to school? or not go to school and let this whole cycle of playing cat and mouse with my sleep continue? I implore thee, sing for me, a morning lullaby.