My world - as I see it

Mainly used to showcase my art pieces now if they can be called such

Friday, April 25, 2008

The SMU days - Part 1

School's finally over! Whee~ It's been a fulfilling 4 years in SMU to end off the 16 years of my life devoted to study. I guess it is only befitting that I do a full recount (as much as I can rememeber of course) about what I have done, hits and misses, regrets and fun things alike. So people who might be reading, this would be a long post coming in parts. For now, here goes.

Year 1 - Acad year 2004

Entering SMU as any freshie would have been exciting for any, if not for all. It was a reasonably new school and it still is a young one. The first batch of graduates had not even proven themselves to be all that the marketing had protrayed them to be. Would it be as fun? Would it be as different? Would this make that much a change in my life? These were one of the many questions going through my mind when I first went for the interview, let alone went I actually went to school. The common question back then was "why SMU?" and to me, I didn't have much of an answer. But now I do. Because it has really impacted my life in the way I wanted it to. And my University life has offered me perspectives that I didn't expect too.

There were some expectations of mine when I first started, and back then they might have seemed a little difficult to acheive. For starters, I wanted to open up more to mingle with and know more people. For anyone who actually know me when I was younger (read Secondary school, JC.. I am not THAT old ok...) would say that I am an introvert with little presence. In fact even my old friends admit, albeit somewhat apologetically, that they have little impression of me back when we were in the same class. I wanted to get more involved in school stuff and to explore further my interests in music and art. When I learnt about the exchange programme opportunities available, I set my eyes on Japan as my country of choice, and I wanted to travel about too. I wanted to go for an OCIP and to see the world in a different light. And fine.. I wanted to get a girlfriend too (haha.. ok how embarassing to admit..)

Before school even started, there were a few things to get in order. We had the orientation camp, and there was some 'networking' info session before this too. During the info session, we were each given 5 coasters of the same colour and we were required to exchange the coasters such that we had 5 different coloured coasters and in the process get to know 4 new people (at least). So from Day 1 (sort of) I got to put one of my 'missions' into play to mix and mingle. I noticed and remembered many people from that day, although when I met them again in the future they couldn't remember it. Oh well.. I guess I still wasn't impressionable enough then. But I remember people like Ellena, Shu Hui, Hui Min and Lauren, of which I only kept in contact with Ellena at first, but no matter.

During orientation, I realised that Hui Min was in my buddy OG, together with her brother WeiZhong whom I sought of knew since we were in the same camp in army. I also met the other great people from my group such as Eng Teck, Shi Hui, Michele, Stephanie, Bianca, Cherylyn, Shu Mei, Chloe and people from my buddy group such as Gracia, Dorcas, the Wilsons, Jasmin, Wei Xi, Hai Ling, Sel, Huimin and Weizhong. Sadly, I never really managed to keep in contact with all my group members and I was actually closer to my buddy group because they were more fun and not for *ahem* special reasons. Orientation itself was actually quite stupid, especially with crazy 'Uncle Sam' this ang moh who seemed clueless in running camps even though he argued otherwise. The programme itself was a flop whenever he was involved so thankfully we had other more fun and engaging stuff that we would all remember.

When term finally started, I was faced with so many new modules such as Analytical skills, Creative Thinking, and Business, Government and Society. These seemed a little out of point, but I guess its what builds character? It was good to have Eng Teck and Huimin in some of my classes so that I won't feel so alien in the classes. At first I still didn't mix much, but I got to meet 3 wonderful girls Joanne, Sylvia and Kristin. We ended up in numerous groups together, and we have worked in groups pretty much at least once each term ever since. Of course there were other great people I met too, such as Ker Yew, Xiao Hui, Christina, Ying Wen, Marcus, Frank, Denise, Mei Wen, Desheng, Aldric.. and the list goes on and on. I can't possibly name all the people whom I have met in classes since then, lest I go mad, and not to mention the boredom I would be granting any readers.

Of course, school wasn't just about classes. As planned, I joined numerous CCAs that were things that I wanted to do, or interested in. The then Articulate, Guitarissmo, Archery, and UNSA were just one of a few that I joined. There were also bazaars where people could sell stuff. I remember helping Gracia at her stall, where I made earrings and met her friends like Clara and ShuPing. Ha, I still recall how I felt intimidated by ShuPing (and I still do actually) although she is really quite pretty. But hmm... I was smitten by Gracia by then and I started to hang out more with her. Sadly, things didn't work out for us, and it is a chapter that I have willingly closed and we are still good friends now thankfully.

Anyway, life progressed naturally of course, with times spent on modules and fun alike. LTB meetings with my group mates like Charmain and our common bitch topic (no prizes for guessing whom about) and other 'fluffy' modules alike. Picnics in the Botanic Gardens, chilling at Viet Cafe outside the library, walking the distance to the Raffles block... There were chance meetings with a few very important people in my life such as Andrea, who has remained a close friend whom I care alot for. I joined the RCIA as a sponsor whilst she joined as a cathechumen and I am proud of her and her involvement in church, to see how much she has grown in the faith and more.

As all good things come to and end, the 1st year ended, but not without me commiting to becoming a facilitator for the next batch of students. We had to go through training and I was supposed to only be involved in 1 camp as a facilitator. In the end, I helped out in numerous other camps, like sports camp, SIS camp, Social Science camp, and Fides camp.. even a CIP camp! Through this I met even more people whom I could work with, talk to, or simply hang out with and have fun. Whenever I meet these people now I still can't imagine how random our chance meetings were. Of course, one thing to note is that I only joined Fides only to help out in the camp, and I have been with Fides ever since, with no regrets whatsoever of course.

I still feel apologetic to my freshies because of my failings as a facilitator. I was getting it over my head that I was improving with my interaction skills and I thought that I was ready to take on the task as a facilitator. Sadly, I was still not fully ready for it, and I lacked in energy and the ability to 'ra-ra' the group. If given a chance to re-think this decision, I would have probably only helped out rather than to take on a group as a facilitator, and the only one at that. This being said and done, I guess I have learnt alot during this process and met many people from diverse backgrounds. And this also marked the end of my eventful first year.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

listen. to what u said.
remember. of what I did.
think. for what's to come.
feel. this has to end.

Friday, April 18, 2008

So, exams are over. It signals the end of life thus far as I know it. Ok, I am melodramatic, I recognise that. Sigh. School's out. The life I have known has revolved around studying. Sure, I haven't exactly been very studious, and I have been having fun apart from simply studying, but in the end, it has still been all about studies. And now, it's over. Was messaged this mornin at 3+am jus because my friend somehow couldn't sleep, and she attributes it to the fact that it was the last day of school... I dunno what to think anymore.. It doesn't help that I am facing 0 prospects now in anything pertainin to the future... and yes, I am still affected by everything arial... I really need to get a move on but hmmm... I have always been a sucker for words.

Monday, April 14, 2008

The forest is lovely dark and deep
but i have promises to keep
and miles to go before i sleep
so as time upon me it doth creep
of faith I now have to leap
as tiredness into my bones doth seep
I remember how my troubles heap
and into the forest of dark and deep
I yearn to complete the miles till I find sleep