Dance

Cool cool cool! haha. Just went to see the Funkamania dance competition. DAmn Zhai lah! Haha... the hip hop, break and stuff were damn nice lah... Sigh, how nostalgic. Still remember the days in secondary school when me and my buds were grroving together. Lol, yeah, I know, have been getting open mouthed stares when I say this. Yes, to u uni frens of mine who have had the impression of me as a stone, yea, I did dance. A little hip hop, break, and the works lah. 5 years since I did that, forgotten the feel of it till I watched the competition just now. Made me 'wave' a bit whenI came home. Haha. Now my movements are so stiff and weird. Too bad for my injuries otherwise I wouldn't have stopped. Oh, how I miss those days...

Guitar

Haiz, fingers are sore! lol. Been practicing guitar, but seems like it is getting worse... can't press proper chords... Sigh, and my guitar sounds sucky all of a sudden. Now have to practice 5 songs in particular: Carnival by the Cardigans, Can't take my eyes off you by Muse, Kiss Me by Sixpence none's the richer, Can't fight the Moonlight by Leanne Rhimmes and Jie Kou by Jay Chou. Hve to do this well for some audition thingy next month.. Practice, Practice! Lol. Well, time to rest my sore fingers and aching shoulder.

Read through my previous posts. Seems like there is little or no happiness recorded in them. And that sort of goes against the title of this blog right? But well, on the contrary, I was actually very happy. It is jus that my thoughts weren't very coherent with what my heart was feeling. Anyway, I think I should try to give this blog a balance...

Life

Life at present is a stand still. Everything remains a stalemate. Projects aren't progressing, studies aren't developing. The friends around me are having more and more problems, stuff that I never even knew about. Now that they have finally told me, I feel useless since I could do nothing to help. All I can offer are idealistic solutions to questions that I myself cannot answer were I to be in the same situations.
Studies suck. I hate hitting the books. Now I am supposed to catch up, but I'd rather play games. However, please don't be mistaken. I don't really enjoy playing as much as most people would like to believe. It is because I am too bored and xian to do anything else, that this becomes the only other alternative.
It is time to do something about my life. I have been living a meaningless existence. My life has not been my own, and I seem unable to make my own decisions. It is time to do so. I am a guy, and I am 21 after all. Damn... I can't be content just listening to and following all that I am told. Next thing, appearance. Apparently, as I have been told, I seem to be more chatty, livelier, and happier. Is this a facade on my part? Or have I really been able to supress all other emotions into the deep recess of my mind? Just cut my hair again, something shorter so that people wun say that I look old. My sis made me do my nose and eyebrows today, and I complied, believe it or not. Sigh... wonder what I get myself into sometimes... nvm, doesn't matter.

drew in TWC class, and thats my prof 

Bleah

Ok, well, nuthin much to say actually. The weekend passed very quickly. Went to have one birthday party at Hougang then another one at Tanah Merah. Din really do much there, except one of my friends messaged me some news that distressed me greatly, although I managed to suppress it enough such that the birthday girl din think I was sad till much later at night. But nvm about that, since that feeling was likewise shelved in some deep recess of my mind, leaving me with the disturbing calm that has plagued me the past week. It seems to me that such sub-consious shelving of feelings is leaving me quite puzzled about my life at present. As I said though, it doesn't really matter, since nuthin seems to unfaze me now. Maybe I can credit this to my lack of sleep?
When will I sleep again...?

stuff

Yoz ppl, yeah well, its the 2nd week of school liao, but I still dunno wat am I feeling; on one hand I am stressed for the upcoming weeks of work, on the other I am bored stiff. And I still can't sleep!!! that's why I'm tagging now at this time. Lol. I think maybe my body clock is seriously screwed up, dunno why.
My LTB group is... great? I have the super task oriented MQ and TY (a bit boring maybe?), Chio C (too bad she's attached? lol, like I care right...) Blur ZT ( u wun believe how blur she can be lah), friendly M (although sometimes I dun get him), invisible Swathi (omg, I can't see her lah, and it isn't even at night! lol, sry for that racist remark, but seriously...) and that heap of muscle named MW (albeit brainless). What a great mix! Oh, of course there's me too, the stone. Haha, so I shocked ppl cos I acted today in LTB class? Or is it cos I am finally not a stone (cos I moved! Yea! *clap clap*) Seriously, maybe cos ppl really assume taht I always integrate with the chair structure once I sit down,, thus this little shock. Lol.
Just came back from a pub named Crazy Elephant at Clark Quay. The live band there rocks sia!!! the lead was this guy who had hairstyle like Wu Bai, and played like as if high on drugs or something. But his fingers, wow, moved like dunno wat sia, can't see at all. The sax player ( this hot Ang Moh chic) played bass and drums as well, super Zhai right?! The Bassist was doin solos at the speed of a normal lead solo, and the drummer... well, lets jus say, I wonder if each of his limbs had each own brain. Power lah!!!!!
Well, thats about my life for now, since the rest of the week was basically brainless days.

what soul am I?

U are a Retrospective Soul

The most misunderstood of all the soul signs.Sometimes you even have difficulty seeing yourself as who you are.You are intense and desire perfection in every facet of your life.You're best described as extremely idealistic, hardworking, and a survivor.Great moments of insight and sensitivity come to you easily.But if you aren't careful, you'll ignore these moments and repeat past mistakes.For you, it is difficult to seperate the past from the present.You will suceed once you overcome the disappoinments in life.Souls you are most compatible with: Traveler Soul and Prophet Soul

suprise

After swimmin through the ocean of confusion,
one ends up at the beach of despair.
For this case however,
I am at the Paradise of calm.

Is it time that is lacking here,
that the truth has not sunk in.
Is it denial that I so cling on to,
such that falsehood is what follows me.

Scary thoughts have filled my head,
this calm is unnatural for me.
An impending emotional burst is what awaits,
but for that trigger I have to search.

This all makes little sense to me,
that I am still this way.
The only solution I can give,
is taht I gave all my emotions away.

Devoid of feelings,
lacking in emotion.
Lost in thought,
filled with apprehension.

So the mindless game awaits,
in the future but not near.
I seek to retire from it now,
and not return till again I can tear.

Hey Shawn

To be sung with the tune of Hey Jude, hee...

Hey Shawn, dun be so sad,
you weren't made to, be together,
remember, u wan her to be happy,
so u've to learn, to let her be.

Hey Shawn, why face so glum,
this is not yet, the end for u,
remember that u aren't alone,
then things will become, a little better.

And now that u feel the pain, hey Shawn refrain,
dun carry the world upon ur shoulders.
For well u know it would happen, and u still got burnt,
by falling in love with the sweetest girl ever.

...

Resolutions

Never really spoke about my rsolutions since most of them can't be expressed in words, or shouldn't be said in public. They can be summarised mostly by the 2 which I dared say to her. 1st one, do well for studies, promised each other to get 3.6 for GPA I think. 2nd one, to make sure that the people I care most for are always happy. For that, she said I was sweet... yeah right, whatever... But seriously, I will try my best to make them happen, especially the 2nd one since she really is someone I truly care about. Ha ha, getting lame right? Well, I had a clear mind when I thought these resolutions through, since resolutions are essentially things u intend to fulfill rather than wishes and dreams u hope will come true.

lyrics

Ha... was thinking a fair bit and two song lyrics came to mind...


I've tried so hard
and come so far
in the end
it doesn't even matter


&


It's tearing up my heart when I'm with you
but when we are apart I feel it too
and no matter waht I do I feel the pain
with or without you


How apt to the present days...

Worries

Happy New Year peeps! Although it didn't exactly start very well for me. Basically, she had worried me silly because of the things she did and the people around her did. And I felt like I had done nothing to protect her. Felt like crap. What a New Year...