Kaoz

Today was a good day that became a bad day but ultimately ended a good day. Haha why?
Confused? Haha, it was good because I went to meet her today and we spent some time chatting... although it is brainless chatter again. Seems like I dunno what to say anymore... Then I was to meet a friend who cancelled on me, then asked me out again, then stood me up cos her ex looked her up to settle some 'stuff'. Bloody hell... Then went to meet up with an Army friend who was going to meet a female friend of his who ended up being one of my old friend's best friend. Ha ha, small world man. When I came home, met 'her' online then was discussing about our individual NYE celebrations. This year my parents are having a chalet with the relatives, then I was invited to some pot luck thingy by Ms Chuah, then was invited to another place by her but I dun think I can go... sigh... Wanna countdown with her, then I can ask what her resolutions are. Haha!

Sighez

Well, yes, I'm sighing again... because I dunno what to do? Back to the drawing board obviously... Nothing has changed the Christmas gift, and I wonder if I was really stupid enough to think that such a present would have been enough to garner a change. Well, she is happy, that I know, but I'm seriously unsure... I mean I was hoping for a change, just any change be it big or small, just to show that it isn't 'wasted'. Of course, every second and every cent is worth spending on her. Oh my, I sit back and look at the situation and I realise how stagnant this can be, and how slow she is... I mean, maybe I'm slow too, but I am also afraid to read her actions cos I might read it wrongly and make fatal mistakes instead. Damn... I dunno what the hell am I supposed to be doin now either... she's always so busy, now that I think of it, I dun think she might be able to have a relationship cos she's too busy. We can hardly have a decent conversation without her having to go off to do something. Then now... sigh... After telling her that I originally wanted to ask her to watch The Phantom of the Opera with me and that I knew she was going to watch with her friends already, she asked me to join her and her friend. Is that just a friendly gesture? Or is that a somewhat good sign? Well, better not to read right? Supposed to go post Christmas shopping with her, but well, a friend of hers returned from America and wants to go to Marina to fly kite. Hee, how fun... If only one day I can ask her to go fly kite with me... how traditionally romantic? or is that just sappy? Ha ha... I'm not sure if I should be thinking straight right now as well... seems like my mind is preventing me from any form of logical thinking. Then again, who said love is logical right? Hmmm, I seem quite apt in contradicting myself, guess that's what happens if u miss someone. Ha ha, did I just say that? Oh, yes I did! haha. I guess I really am starting to miss her already... Damn how long to wait till I see her again?

Hee

Yo! I'm back from my chalet. What 3 nights those were. Thanks to all of u who came. It really made my day. The presents are great too. Love all of them. In fact ur presence was present enough! Hee, really really happy. Although I usually maintain the part about disliking celebrating my birthday for some weird reason, I still enjoyed myself. I hope all of u peeps felt the same way too? I'm real happy about something else too, but I can't say cos it'll be too personal to put here. Hee, and dun come askin hor. Just know that it's something good (at least to me) and be happy for me? Hmmm... well, Nuthin else much to say, other then... hols are going to end!!! Argh!!!! Better try to enjoy the rest of it sia! And have to work hard for the next term, and the term after, and after... well, u get the picture. C'ya for now!

Busy boring..?

As I mentioned previously, I went to work, supposedly as a mascot. As it turned out, there were not enough suits and I did not have to dress up. Instead I just had to tend a stall. Quite fun, although the kids were a little irritating. But at the end of it, it was quite fun, and we had a good lunch. And oh yeah! 50 lovely bucks! haha for 4+ hours of work? Worth it man.
Went to my friend's place after that, and had dinner and stayed over. Dinner was good, company was fun and I learnt a new card game. Quite interesting. But much later, one of my friends brought me aside to ask a question that I was so certain was coming. She asked me about the identity of the girl in question, and she gave me a guess that is apparently on the lips of the others as well. My answer to everyone of course is that I will not reveal who she is. It won't be fair for the girl to be mocked because of me, whoever she might be. I know myself, and I'm certain that mockery seems attracted easily to me and friends, so I'd rather not. I hope this is the right thing to do because this can cause more speculation and might end up harming more innocents than intended. Sigh, what to do... hope this blows over quickly.

Crammed days or boring days

Yoz, dunno if its boring or packed... My days I mean... It's either absolutely nuthin to do that I have to replay some of my games, or they are so packed I dunno what to do. Like those 3 days of diving, I left the house at 7+ and came back at 10+... and yesterday and today, I can just stay into nothingness for like eternity. Then for later today, I need to go do some church decorations, followed by 'shopping' for a new guitar, cousin's house warming, then my friend's chalet at night... Wah! Like suddenly so packed again. I'd rather the things to be spread out so that I can slowly do my stuff as well. But, well, I shouldn't be complaining so much. Better to have something to do than nuthin at all. Also, on days that I have nuthin to do, I should enjoy it cos it's gonna be really busy next year. Just now Ah Wen asked if I wanted to be a TA, and I dun mind... although there's a high chance I might jus die cos it'll be real hectic. Mus stop all distractions by then. That's why, now I'm considering if I really want to continue with chasing the girl... It's really taking back-seat right now. And I seriously doubt if it can still work out. I should jus bang my head against the wall to forget everythin I ever felt for her. I'll be faster that way. * sigh *
Well, its gonna be a long day, so I better get some sleep. Chow ya?

Diving

Hey peeps, just rested enough after 3 days of diving. Was really tiring, carrying all the tanks and other stuff around. It's really quite fun, everyone should go try. Too bad the place we went to, Pulau Hantu, had pathetic visibility. The seabed was also quite bad cos of all the rocks and gravel. Anuone who moved their flippers at the bottom would kick up an enormous amount of silt, thus enveloping all in some 'sand storm'. Visibility would then be reduced to almost 0. And I dunno why, there was some minute creature or something that was stinging us half the time when we were on the surface. Din see much, except for a jellyfish and some fire corals. Sigh... Well, I took this course so that I could go overseas and dive, for obvious reasons... Want to go Tioman next year! Yeah, how shiok. The water there is definetely clearer. Can't wait.
Well, its so boring today! I'm almost about to complete my games... Dun tell me I'll have to repeat some of the games? Can't find a job... Except for the one day work thingy this Sunday. Ha ha, never thought I would actually agree to be some mascot for dunno what oso. I must be really desperately bored. Or desperately poor. Ha ha... how sad, checked my bank account some time back, and I can't even see 3 numbers. This is very bad... Where is my money trickling away to? I need to keep closer note of my spending sia...
Dis is it for now... Nuthin much more to add since this has been so boring so far... Stupid CT can't be published on SMUconnect... Can't check the results.

Long Time

It has been some time since my last entry, especially because of my exams period. Phew... Thank goodness that's over. For now, the results I've received are still alright, although the BGS score is a tad disappointing. Can't be helped I guess... screwed up the mid term by not studying. Just waiting for the Finance, CT and Biz Law results to be out before I'll know how I did in general.
Studies related things aside, I really wanna work! But then again, I'm unable to find a job that quickly. Sigh...Actually I should have gone to the Recruit Express thingy as recommended by Xiang Yun, but I was lazy, hahaha. How lame right. Want to work but lazy to do so, how contradicting. "Money! Fall from the sky leh! My pocket misses you very much!" ahahha...
Watched 3 movies this week. Bridget Jones, Shark Tale and Polar Express. Shark Tale was a let down, Polar Express was a little boring, but luckily Bridget Jones was entertaining enough. Heh, the company helped lots too. Ha ha, u guessed it, I was watching Bridget Jones with her. Supposed to watch Incredibles, but there wasn't any seats left. I was a little disappointed at first cos we were supposed to meet at 415 to buy the 435 tickets together. But when I called her at 422, she was still at Taka, and we were to meet at Plaza Sing! By the time she actually came down, it was 450. I wonder what would have happened if I managed to get tickets. Dunno lah... But then she came, and we bought the evening show for Bridget Jones cos the evening Incredibles was sold out too, then it was still early so we went to grab some coffee. I didn't know what to say cos she was looking through some books while we drank... I was content looking at her I guess...
After the movie, I suggested going to B Boss for dinner, hoping that she wouldn't disagree. Thank goodness she didn't. It's a real beautiful place, although a bit pricey if not for the voucher I had. Ha ha, not that I cheapo, but sometimes, its better to be practical than to show off. Finally we chatted, and although I planned the questions in a way that I could hopefully get a truthful answer, I never expected her to start feeling upset. I felt really really bad when her bright eyes became misted with the thin film of tears... not a very pleasant sight I assure you, especially since all I wanted was to know more about her and not make her feel miserable. *sigh*
After dinner, she finally let me pay although she had paid me for the movie and drinks earlier. But as usual, she would not allow me to send her home. Well, never mind, better to just let her have her way I guess, and not push it too far.
Nothing has happened ever since, and she's back to her usual antics of not replying and stuff like that. She finally replied yesterday, and when I replied, she was apologising and stuff like that, and was blaming me of using emotional blackmail. Lol! hha... doesn't seem to help though... This is clearly drifting towards the 'out-of-bounds' area of a platonic relationship. From what I have seen, it is very difficult to start as good friends and end up as lovers, but rather the other way round. So of course I wish that it goes that way... although I am also clear that I stand to lose her as a friend as well if things dun go as planned.