lost

Lost. So, is it jus a show about this bunch of people on this desert island with some crazed monsters? Or is this merely a reflection of our own lives. How often do we find ourselves lost in our surroundings? We know not what is happening and know not what to do. We cannot predict what is to come. Our own internal turmoils, struggles, problems, character... these are what are really hunting us down, killing us, breaking us down. Faced with our problems, what do we do, run away? How easy is it to do so, but yet, are we ready to face the heavier repercussions? Do we not know of the consequences of running away? I think we do... but as humans, we are weak... running away is still the seemingly easier and clearer path to take. But for anyone out there who drives, the easier and clearer path isn't always the fastest one...

Repitition

Once again,
it has repeated,
the gears have moved,
the clockwork has started.
The inevitable end is now in sight,
Oh what should I do to end this plight.
I prayed for a sign, and that I received,
or is it really, I do not believe, I will not be decieved.
Repitition now I do not deny, concentration lost,
energy dwindling, tired... repeat no more

Beginning

It has begun

school's started

Yes yes, school's finally started... After 18 weeks of no-brainer activities for me, I am once again hurled into the politics and fun and tiredness of school life. Projects will start soon, tests and other cruel what-have-yous that our profs devise to determine our demise. It is still quite fine though, to see all my friends again. I mean, its not as if I din see them at all this whole hols, but still, it has been a looooong time for most. Things have changed, or has it? Is it just a simple haircut, some loss/gain of weight? Or is it the mindset, the maturity, the reality of it all that has been realised during this long break that has changed? I wonder...

On a side note, let not what happened exactly one year ago happen now. Ok, not one year. Last Oct. Whatever. Please. I can't take it. I won't take it. No more.

Habitual

Hmmm, something I din think would bother me for a while has apparently been there all along to bug me. Din think it would come to this, but what I din intend to do is startin to become habitual and I can't stop it. One day without and I feel weird, like something is missing... I wonder why too... crap man...

Problems

Hmmm, once again, there is trouble at home... My sis is having work problems and r/s problems... Sometimes I wish I couldn't see all of this. I mean, today is one of the few things she told me anything, but the thing is, I have guessed all these. Its like, her fren who is supposedly engaged is hitting on her, and I guessed as much although I only saw him twice... It was a notion that I threw out of the window when I heard that he was engaged, although my doubts lingered after some silent observation. I realise that being able to observe is not a good thing. It plants ideas in ur head and u become worried about stuff. Worse still, the ideas that sprout are usually correct, so it makes things worse cos I know almost for a fact that what I predict would come true. I hate it, absolutely hate it. Hate it that I know what's to happen in other's lives, especially when its something that can screw up that person's life. Crap... And the most ironic thing, as it happens for others too I'm sure, is that one can never predict ones own future. I never know what's to happen in my life, and what I wish for almost never come true...

For U

Nah, write a post for U since U wanted me to update. Hmmm, but what is there to update? Like mercham nuthin to talk about leh. Ubin trip for camp was quite fun. Only certain periods of time where brute strength was all that was needed to complete a task. Oh, the 'Zhi Char' is like damn nice lar. A few of us formed the 'biker gang' where we had to cycle around posting signs for a future game. We ended up finding ourselves back at the main 'town' area to have dinner, and boy was it good. Heaps of rice, Tom Yam soup (the only let down), butter prawns, sweet and sour pork, sambal veg and omelette. It wasn't just the food, it was the circumstance that we were eating there and the company that I was with that made the meal all the more enjoyable. Too bad U din pick up my phone lor, otherwise I would have bought U something. Same for the next day's lunch. U din bring Ur phone along so I couldn't call U either, so stupid ah U. Hmmm, after that... the weekend passed fast enough... Oh, now I'm finally a full fledged usher! Woohoo! Can't wait to start working!

Glanced through YW's blog jus now and I left a comment about what my sis asked me last time. How sad issit when ur sibling asks u if u are homo? As in, my sis asked one day "Shawn, are u turning gay?" My ans was the obvious, and when I asked why she asked that, her reply was "Oh, cos u dun seem to go out that often, and u dun mention any girls, and u never had a girlfriend, so I wondered if u were starting to get a little... crooked." Wah lau, like how damn sad lah. Sigh... But maybe she is right. I mean not about the gay part! But maybe, I really dun go out with girls that much. Those whom agree to go out with me are usually good friends or those who have no feelings for me and are certain I have no feelings for them. I get constant rejects to go out, and I know I should take cue from there, but since my intentions are clear and free from any hidden agenda, then it should be fine right? Girls are difficult to understand...

Someone... who is that someone? Someone can be anyone from the group of everyone. I know it sounds ambigous, but there is a meaning behind it, think only one person understands right?
Hmmm, I dun think there's anything else for me to say, or at least anything that anyone understands, so I end off here.

*disclaimer - Although I say U are stupid, I know u want me to say U are mature too, lol, so stupid. Hahaha! Too bad this is my blog.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:1. Shawn2. Stone3. Slacker
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:1. Metatron2. ShawnDan3. Wah! Stone
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:1. Reasonable height 2. Nothing else?
3. As I said, what’s there to like?
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:1. Thick Eyebrows2. Small Eyes
3. Kiam Pa face
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:1. Flying Cockroaches2. Being ignored3. Being misunderstood
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:1. Lap top2. Mobile Phone3. Nuthin else
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:1. Specs2. underwear (duh)3. shorts
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:1. Oasis2. Beatles3. Metallica
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:1. Hey Jude2. Wonderwall3. Sweet Child of Mine
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:1. Her trust2. Fun, laughter, peace and joy3. her to be happy
TRUTH OR LIE:1. I've always been single
2. I've fought until people bled
3. I've shoplifted before
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:1. Bright eyes2. Healthy lookin pinkish cheeks
3. short hair in a pony tail
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:1. Drawing2. Reading Comics 3. Playing games
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:1. Go out with someone2. Go out with someone3. Go out with someone (ok, nobody ask me who that somebody is)
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:1. Being a priest2. Financial Analyst
3. Graphics Designer
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:1. Japan2. France3. Israel
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:1. Travel ard the world2. Gain recognition3. Find true love and hold on dearly to it
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:1. what stereotypically? I AM a boy!
2. I shave3. I dun need to bathe if I dun feel like it (thank goodness I always feel like it)
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:1. I do housework
2. I Bitch sometimes3. I cook
THREE MALE CELEB CRUSHES:1. ? male celebs?2. Sean Connery is cool3. Dun think there is anyone else
THREE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:1. Yingwen2. Anna3. Meiwen

How?

Oh Gawd, what in the World did I do to make u hate me? Or do u? crap... I have no idea what in the world are you thinking... and with reactions like this, how am I to know what is happening? When I question, u do not answer... so how now brown cow?

Politeness misunderstood

My mail:
Just wanted to say that it has been nice knowing you, and it has been my pleasure being aquainted to you. Hmmm, I was wondering if I can contact you via msn? Cos its highly likely that I won't see you around school due to our difference in course. I forgot to ask you for your msn yesterday (the truth is that I'm too shy to ask in person, but most people beg to differ). So, if you don't mind being bothered by me then could you give me your msn? Hee...
The reply:
u r quite weird, haha. i never seen anyone use the words "being aquainted with u" in an email b4. n it's the 1st time pple ask for my msn thru email... haha
but im nice n i shall not mock u anymore. feel free to add me @ .....

Oh no... I have sucessfully scared someone else into thinking that I am weird. Shitz man... And everyone else I ask says that it really is a weird mail cos I was too polite. Darn it... Next time I shall just ask straight... Crap lah, not my fault lor. Just read Jane Austen kind of books so my English is styled after Victorian times English where all p's and q's are minded. It Doesn't pay to be polite. Screw it.

Toilet Bowl

Hmmm, I was washing the toilet just now since my Mum's abit sick today. She's sleeping now as we speak. Anyway, I learnt something when washing the toilet bowl. Haha, I know its like damn weird but well... here goes.
Life is like a toilet bowl.
We take the shit and piss that others load on us,
silently saying nothing,
but sometimes clearing things up with a flush.
Of course, this varies between people.
Some people take a longer time before flushing,
some have difficulty flushing,
some can't flush again anytime soon because the water ain't filled up yet.
One thing is similar though.
Despite all the flushing,
if you were to notice,
there will be brown stains left after some time.
It is only with thorough scubbing that u can remove the stain.
In life, likewise, we might be able to flush our thoughts, our feelings.
We might be able to clear ourselves from these problems.
However, if we do not take hold of the problem,
or fully understand, accept and embrace it,
we will only be fooling ourselves into thinking that we are rid of the problem.
Why beguile ourselves with such a thought?
Being optimistic is one thing,
not facing reality is the evil opposite.
So I say to you fellow toilet bowls out there,
get out the scrubs,
and rid yourselves off those horrid stains.
~Flush out brothers!~

Clubbing

Sigh... the word clubbing in Singapore has the common linkange to the word Mambo as well. It is, by itself, a cult that has so well succeeded in surviving for so long in Singapore. Sigh, clubbing also has certain connotations, mainly about the vices - smoking and drinking. Drinks are an obvious "accessory" to any clubber, whereas the cigarette is an expensive "sidekick" to its fellow clubbing buddy in crime(meaning the drinks).
For me, I will smoke if there is reason to. Drinking and smoke gets the person higher, so I would smoke to ensure that the person does not get high too quickly. My only other job there is to look after my friends. My Dad once commented to me that I seem to treasure friends more than my family. He might actually be correct. I actually bothered to stay till so late, just to make sure that my friends were starting to sober up.

~What am I thinking... Need to sort these things out soon, before school starts~

Shoes

Was looking at Sydney's blog, which gave me the impulse to start taking stock of my shoes, and I realise how many I actually have...
According to age:
1. @Asics sports shoe (damn bright colour...wonder what was I thinking)
2. Airwalk ( Great for skateboarding... those were the days...)
3. Hush Puppies Moccasins (did I spell that right?)
4. Leather shoes (dunno what brand, but I love 'em)
5. Slip ons ( some Malaysian brand, but real hardy)
6. New Balance sports shoes (the basic of any guy who went through Army)
7. Everbest Leather shoes (looks quite good on my feet, so bhb right? haha!)
8. Nike Shox (bought from HongKong, real niiiiice)
9. Shayer Slip ons ( new, so not sure if its good)
10. Diesel sneakers (Love 'em, what can I say)
11. Sneakers, Australian brand (they look real good, nice to wear too)
12. slippers 1 ( black and green)
13. slippers 2 (black and orange)
14. slippers 3 (grey)
15. slippers 4 (Timberland, what is there not to like?)

so well, thats a lot of foot apparel for a guy right? Man, I feel so blessed.

Angry Post

Stupid people should never be in a committee,
one in which you can decide the next 3 days in the lives of people.
Don't waste time, especially NOT others,
just because you idiots are all inefficient pieces of ****...
Screw all of you blithering, inefficient fools!

Ohhhh look what you've done you've made a fool of everyone

~crap, hell has frozen over, we can all go ice skating... what did I do now

Your Birthdate: December 20

Your birth on the 20th day of the month adds a degree of emotion, sensitivity, and intuition to your reading. The 2 energy provided here is very social, allowing you to make friends easily and quickly. Yet you are apt to have a rather nervous air in the company of a large group. You have a warmhearted nature and emotional understanding that constantly seeks affection. You are very prone to become depressed and moody, as emotions can turn inward and cause anxiety and mental turmoil. It can be hard for you to bounce back to reality when depression sets in. When things are going well, you can go just as far the other way and become extremely affectionate.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?